Love Unfound (& Lost).

I am no respecter of age
But I do respect your soul,
You moved upon me gently
Across my rivers
With ripples of emotions:
Confusion of
Weeping and joy.

Honesty, so clear
As mineral water,
I wish I was born
On the same time line,
Orbit, Solar system,
To be aligned with you.

And if I exist immortally
I am hoping to find you truly,
As the left and right hands join together,
Walking freely through the park in Summer.

The humming you hear is not from the birds or bees
It's the thoughts that resonate around my mind
Like the night and day around the earth
And I do thirst, for you in ways unimaginable.

Burning footsteps, who dare to walk through my deserts
Be my rain and confuse the Lizards
Blind me once again with loving blizzards
Uncover every thing which is hidden
Rescue me from these secret shadowy chains
And render every insecurity, maim.

Until we reunite and we fall down again as rain
Regaining the food chain
Producing fresh wheat grain,
And allow our lust to put the rainbow to shame.

And I lost love like this
Like an angel lost it's halo
And for eternity, a memory unforgotten:
Saying 'hello' to every stranger I pass by
Because It might be you in disguise.

Please do not hide or be shy -
I promise not to lie or be sly.
Though Literally,
it's impossible to behave like this to you
And for now I will be content in the dark.

Until you arrive as my shooting star,
Wishing surely and longing to find out who you are.

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 20/11/2011 ©

Candy

Young and foolish so we were
can you remember
as our eyes greeted with giggles
'Yo boy!?'
screeching in front of me
of your gigantic mountain bike frame
making you appear inferior
on the exterior, definitely an
emperor disguised.

Hazel eyes they were and varnished oak wood brown complexion,
holding shelves of books like competitiveness, complications, confusions,
compliments, discontentments, ambitions, amusements, intelligence... argumentative,
and i read them all eagerly,
repetitively and devoutly
as though you were my religion.

Disputes and bruised ego's
where did it go? I tried to follow
the crumbs it has left behind, leading to a wall of mist
which distracts the train of thoughts to a halt
on the last station, bear and empty.

Wish I didn't throw her number away
I regret missing you
Candy.
Save me from this crushing dismay
i hope to cross your path some day
would you even rememeber me
anyway?

Faithfully yours,
A Lost Friend.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 27/10/2010 ©

A Mental Alley (Mind Music).

A Mental Alley (Mind Music).

I am not into love,
and hugs are Temperamental
In my mind it sounds like heavy metal
oh I love you,
come here and hug me:
I am a 'two-face' schizophrenic.

Only voices I befriend,
choices are past tense
with the intent to make further amends.

Am I cleanse?
Too intense: hot and cold,
handle with care if you dare,
just put me down
where you found me in the first place...
No where.

Are we clear?
maybe so-so,
up and down like a yo-yo
so does that make us such as no-no
like a no-go area,
segregation.

Here we go again:
Confrontations and Arguments,
as i turn my hostility lower,
rewind and play it more softer, sweeter
and most definitely slower
ok, let's make up and get closer.

No fuck you!
Push you away and
erase you like a contact number,
A ghost you become
and haunt me in my slumber,
'til I heat you up like summer,
suffer a fever
and shiver like a cold winter.

Many are the colours.

My reflection of the interactions or conversations,
from the merging nations that builds up more and more
like an overcrowded population,
shouting above each other in gridlock
in a moment of chaos of abstraction.

This is sweet music in my Mind.



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 31/7/2010 ©

Locked off (Dear Locks)

Locked off (Dear Locks…)

Proceeding with one two three,
Into darkness of uncertainties…

Dear Locks,

You will be dearly missed
Cutting you off was the last thing
I would ever do.
What you meant to me…
Where do I begin.

Since I was seven,
I wanted long hair
My Mother said no
To cornrows, funky dreads
And anything over an inch!
I used to flinch
At going to the barbers
Thinking they were
Cutting a life form away,
Apart of me alive

So
I celebrated my manhood and freedom
and grew my locks,
You reminded me
Of small little maggots to begin with,
Comb twist.

Months grew into years
And you were already shoulder length.
Thick brown and beautiful:
A symbol of strength, determination and
Perseverance.

This look I had was so unique,
apart of me,
I deemed it unimaginable to be parted away from you.
You were like my first and everlasting true love
Because you helped me identify, myself.
You were there through thick and thin.
Only to realise it was only for a season
Where uniqueness is truly and always,
Residing in the heart.

But it’s hard:
As I watched
The blades embraced
And cut you into two, apart.
I can hear you screaming,
Colour-blind as though I were
Watching a black and white film
Day dreaming a nightmare.

Then a humming bird
Whispered in my left ear
‘I am not my hair’, (India Aries)
Making my heart break the day like the sunshine.
So removing you would be like moving the clouds away
Yet I would still like it to rain.


Were we secret lovers having an affair in broad day light?
Tell me, we are not breaking away
Yet, its so evident that we have grown apart.
Proceeding with four, five, six, seven, eight
Its too late,
As you fall like duck feather on the floor.

Self reflection.
Of embracing the new,
Staring like a child unsure
Of what to do.
Dark brown nappy fluff
Candy floss
Exploring the lightness

A new look and freedom.
Cold sharp slick razor
Glides smoothly across
The Atlas of my head
Sheering away the wheats
To reveal dry ground.

A new look and freedom.
What an exploration,
The Liberation.
Of not being caged
Into an appearance
But a living soul,
A fresh wind beautifully packaged within.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho
07/08/2010 ©

Your Words Are

Your words don't matter
any more to me

Your words will fade
into the abyss
and rots there,
where it belongs.

I am not angry,
rather calm and collective
your audacity wants me
to react like someone
who has epilepsy.

Your vocabulary and sound
can not be mixed
like oil and water.
so,
drip off my Goretex jacket
Bribe and Confusion.

My ear waxs detects your manipulation
interrogation
condemnation
judgemental spat
mood swing song's
and above all
Hypocrisies.

I have no burden strapped
because it was packed
and sent away to Disney land
as though it never existed.

Your music has vanished
because i broke the vinyl's,
Sounds of a broken record
reminded me of a spoilt child.


The last straw, a crumpled, half torn photo of you.
Memory lane can remain a stain,
washed out with bleach,
forgotten.
so dont you ever come near me
and preach!

Damn blood sucking leech!



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 5/9/2010 ©

A Low Moment.

A Low Moment.

I fight back tears
as i have no hope
I speak to the trees
and the leaves
as they rustle their sympathies,
symphony orchestra
the trees remind me to be hard
yet they can still be cut down
I look at the barks
with faces of distorted frowns,
the green leaves
fills me with peace though,
and entreats me
not to stop,
my thoughts talk
my nightmare stalks
filling me with the notion
of what would it be like to be dead?
And watch everyone I know
to see if they really cared.
Resurrect back
to wipe their tears
cause their pain
I could not bear.
Their love I would share
My hate I would shear
and sell as wool
to you know who?
I have no idea.
how did I end up here?
I open my eyes,
closed my mouth
and my ears spoke wisdom
til I bore you
and make your Brain
boil and bubble over
into insanity,
that indeed I am.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 26/8/2010 ©


Note: An old poem of mine I found. Reminded me of alot of emotions. Enjoy.

Different

Recalling one two one two
I remember in black and white photographs
collages in my mind's eyes
as it rolls in time like a film script
wishing i was strong and tough
like those bullies,
instead i was skinny with two left knees.
Oh...
thats the reason I got picked last
for the football team
in the playground?
My lips are too thick
I want them as yours, thin
as i have seen in every hollywood movie,
well,
back then and...
and, my hair stands as though they have legs of their own, afro
why?
cant they just flow with the wind as yours...
not to mention,
my two buck teeth earned me the nickname bugs bunny
or even better, Goofy.
I deem these my inherited flaws
because, I dont see no girlfriend holding my hand
looking into my brown eyes,
poppy love.
I think they preferred blue ones that matched the sunny skies.
no.
I wasnt cool
I am the boy who stay late
after art class has finished.
Loneliness,
teased tears to flow from my eyes
but I heard big boys dont cry.

Then something changed
and it was just like any other day,
as the long finger hit twelve on the clock
swimming though London's crowded current
catching a glimpse of admiring stares,
ignored.

Now
Being confided in
and appreciated
in more ways than one,
though I had unpopular opinions,
never really ceased to think this way.
un-noticeably
Confidence and Acceptance blossoms
creating inner peace
while I was trying make sense of these jigsaw pieces.
Dawning on me as from boy to man
I just, didnt see it back then...

Specially selected ingredients,
Carefully handcrafted
and metric measured
equals me,
Entitled: Different.

Thankfully.

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 7/9/2010 ©

Image as seen on: http://www.aleesperspective.com, (05/09/2010) and inspirational prompt:"Embrace being different. There is nothing special or unique about a clone." Thanks Alee..

I saw you Today Grey.

I saw you Today Grey.

I saw you today
focused and tired
walking on the bleak and grey tarmac
Blurry around nine-thirty.

I saw you today
my smile greeted you
with the warmth of the sun
you felt it, unknowingly.


I saw you today
In your navy tank top
over a white t-shirt and jeans,
holding a Brown tan leather breif-case,
oh, look at that!
You've cut your hair low,
other than that,
you looked the same.


Almost, a frozen picture frame.


I saw you today
as you walked
in your bubble of thoughts
which was 'un-pop-able':
were you stressed?
Are you even happy?

I saw you today
and reminisced
on how I saw you
as my big brother
bordering Fatherhood figure
Cloaked and protected
under your wings, your words and guidance...
Perhaps.

I saw you today
and could have
walked directly behind you
and morphed myself into your shadow
But
Instead I let you go.

Its a shame
that we were so close
and I was
simply unrecognisable.
Today was good
Because I saw you.
Perhaps.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho
26/8/2010 ©

Abel

Abel

No idea, no imagination
of the pain it caused you.

My unwares were like a Moth
flying towards the Black candle's flames,
stupity and embarassment
embraces my train of thoughts.

Those envious eyes
and fake smiles,
the way you
distance your presence,
your conversations
laughter
and talented mind.

To think that you thought i was a apart of that
makes me feel like my heart never existed,
as though i were a living corpse

feeding on your very existence.

Unworthily but surely,
please know that i am aware
with a new lease of life like a butterfly
breaking free from her cocoon for the first time.
Look at the colour of my wings through my eyes
and know that i speak the truth to you:
Silver, yellow, purple, lilac and white.

I am pointing my torch on your brain
receive my light and allow the dark gossip to diminish:
He
She
say
said

whatever and hug me brother
you are like my soul's shadow
and i won't give up without a fight
for our friendship.

i know now,

I didnt realised that they cut you out

I know now,
because they cut me off

Why dont we unite,

and tell them to fuck off!?



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho

3/8/2010 ©