Locked off (Dear Locks)

Locked off (Dear Locks…)

Proceeding with one two three,
Into darkness of uncertainties…

Dear Locks,

You will be dearly missed
Cutting you off was the last thing
I would ever do.
What you meant to me…
Where do I begin.

Since I was seven,
I wanted long hair
My Mother said no
To cornrows, funky dreads
And anything over an inch!
I used to flinch
At going to the barbers
Thinking they were
Cutting a life form away,
Apart of me alive

So
I celebrated my manhood and freedom
and grew my locks,
You reminded me
Of small little maggots to begin with,
Comb twist.

Months grew into years
And you were already shoulder length.
Thick brown and beautiful:
A symbol of strength, determination and
Perseverance.

This look I had was so unique,
apart of me,
I deemed it unimaginable to be parted away from you.
You were like my first and everlasting true love
Because you helped me identify, myself.
You were there through thick and thin.
Only to realise it was only for a season
Where uniqueness is truly and always,
Residing in the heart.

But it’s hard:
As I watched
The blades embraced
And cut you into two, apart.
I can hear you screaming,
Colour-blind as though I were
Watching a black and white film
Day dreaming a nightmare.

Then a humming bird
Whispered in my left ear
‘I am not my hair’, (India Aries)
Making my heart break the day like the sunshine.
So removing you would be like moving the clouds away
Yet I would still like it to rain.


Were we secret lovers having an affair in broad day light?
Tell me, we are not breaking away
Yet, its so evident that we have grown apart.
Proceeding with four, five, six, seven, eight
Its too late,
As you fall like duck feather on the floor.

Self reflection.
Of embracing the new,
Staring like a child unsure
Of what to do.
Dark brown nappy fluff
Candy floss
Exploring the lightness

A new look and freedom.
Cold sharp slick razor
Glides smoothly across
The Atlas of my head
Sheering away the wheats
To reveal dry ground.

A new look and freedom.
What an exploration,
The Liberation.
Of not being caged
Into an appearance
But a living soul,
A fresh wind beautifully packaged within.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho
07/08/2010 ©

666

666

Brown and burgundy coated
My vision, as I say,
Can I speak to you
In a little more, detail
I dont mean to be rude,
I had some a little, more rum
Water down with coke
Taste so morish.
I am talking about
The 6th day
On the 6th month
Of the 2006 year.
Yeah
When the chain on my brain was broken
And I saw the light
Ironically
After church, prayer meeting,
That summer was the best
As I can hear my Grand-dad telling me
‘How I am so blessed’
Any way
It was evening,
Stamford hill
Yes
Do you know them side?
Wait.
Let me sip a little more
And let the sting
Wet the back of my throat
Dry and cold…
What was I saying again?
Oh
Chasing after disaster
Trying to cool the eruption
Of a volcanic beast
And lava and rocks
Came down
And beat me twice
On the same cheek.
Pulling on my hair
And emptied my bag on the floor
As the Jews
Watched with entertained eyes,
What held me back from taking your head off?
Don’t blame or praise the Angels, and God or gods
Unseen, read about and heard of.
Blame it on me
Not just the fact I didn’t react
Second thought,
I guess that what burned you most!
That I didn’t cast you down to hell
And gloat in my delight as I hear your yells fade.
Praise me on how I told the truth
And it was none of my business in the first place
Yet it was insisted upon…
Yes that right
You accused me
Only to see
That I was in the right
And you were terribly wrong
No need to admit it.
Carry on!
Did you really think I would have
Stay and married you?
And allow you to beat me up silly
To repeat History… and I shall repeat:
His-story!? No your story.
To be honest that was one of my worst fears my dear,
You know?
To become a repetition
Of your forefathers.
Smile I gently, as the lava stings
And hide the pain under my thick skin.
No,
This future is not for me,
Off comes the engagement ring
That was not meant to be
And let it melt in your own ashes and tears.
I didn’t need a sign
Just a kick start, for my mind to tick again
Was I, in a frozen primitive state?
An Ape
Brought back to life to enjoy the modern world
In all its glories and wonders, I wonder,
Oh and I heard all those same old stories
So good fuck, please don’t bore me.
I don’t claim to be perfect
But why
Do you think you are always right?
Hope some things change.

Guess it was god’s will then
To confound the wise on 06/06/2006!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


Excuse me mate,
Another double rum and coke please?
Actually make it two.
A celebration of Life
Without you.



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 5/9/2010 ©

Your Words Are

Your words don't matter
any more to me

Your words will fade
into the abyss
and rots there,
where it belongs.

I am not angry,
rather calm and collective
your audacity wants me
to react like someone
who has epilepsy.

Your vocabulary and sound
can not be mixed
like oil and water.
so,
drip off my Goretex jacket
Bribe and Confusion.

My ear waxs detects your manipulation
interrogation
condemnation
judgemental spat
mood swing song's
and above all
Hypocrisies.

I have no burden strapped
because it was packed
and sent away to Disney land
as though it never existed.

Your music has vanished
because i broke the vinyl's,
Sounds of a broken record
reminded me of a spoilt child.


The last straw, a crumpled, half torn photo of you.
Memory lane can remain a stain,
washed out with bleach,
forgotten.
so dont you ever come near me
and preach!

Damn blood sucking leech!



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 5/9/2010 ©

Rose's

Rose's

I saw these roses
and thought of you
It looked so electrifying
and so warm with love.

Never hide your light,
bravely smile
and let it shine
even in the rain.

Let no pain
take you off
your life's goals or dreams,
focus!

Let your thorns
protect you from
every forbidden hand
only allow whats right
to handle you.

Though your strong
you are still tender loving Lady
that needs to be handled
in a Gentleman's way.

And on that Day of his Arrival
only then your thorns will soften
and you will exhale fresh perfume.

A love that only
both of you consume,
flourish and bloom,
so believe these Roses
represents
you.
x



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 26/8/2010 ©

Note: Another old poem of mine I found.

A Low Moment.

A Low Moment.

I fight back tears
as i have no hope
I speak to the trees
and the leaves
as they rustle their sympathies,
symphony orchestra
the trees remind me to be hard
yet they can still be cut down
I look at the barks
with faces of distorted frowns,
the green leaves
fills me with peace though,
and entreats me
not to stop,
my thoughts talk
my nightmare stalks
filling me with the notion
of what would it be like to be dead?
And watch everyone I know
to see if they really cared.
Resurrect back
to wipe their tears
cause their pain
I could not bear.
Their love I would share
My hate I would shear
and sell as wool
to you know who?
I have no idea.
how did I end up here?
I open my eyes,
closed my mouth
and my ears spoke wisdom
til I bore you
and make your Brain
boil and bubble over
into insanity,
that indeed I am.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 26/8/2010 ©


Note: An old poem of mine I found. Reminded me of alot of emotions. Enjoy.

Different

Recalling one two one two
I remember in black and white photographs
collages in my mind's eyes
as it rolls in time like a film script
wishing i was strong and tough
like those bullies,
instead i was skinny with two left knees.
Oh...
thats the reason I got picked last
for the football team
in the playground?
My lips are too thick
I want them as yours, thin
as i have seen in every hollywood movie,
well,
back then and...
and, my hair stands as though they have legs of their own, afro
why?
cant they just flow with the wind as yours...
not to mention,
my two buck teeth earned me the nickname bugs bunny
or even better, Goofy.
I deem these my inherited flaws
because, I dont see no girlfriend holding my hand
looking into my brown eyes,
poppy love.
I think they preferred blue ones that matched the sunny skies.
no.
I wasnt cool
I am the boy who stay late
after art class has finished.
Loneliness,
teased tears to flow from my eyes
but I heard big boys dont cry.

Then something changed
and it was just like any other day,
as the long finger hit twelve on the clock
swimming though London's crowded current
catching a glimpse of admiring stares,
ignored.

Now
Being confided in
and appreciated
in more ways than one,
though I had unpopular opinions,
never really ceased to think this way.
un-noticeably
Confidence and Acceptance blossoms
creating inner peace
while I was trying make sense of these jigsaw pieces.
Dawning on me as from boy to man
I just, didnt see it back then...

Specially selected ingredients,
Carefully handcrafted
and metric measured
equals me,
Entitled: Different.

Thankfully.

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 7/9/2010 ©

Image as seen on: http://www.aleesperspective.com, (05/09/2010) and inspirational prompt:"Embrace being different. There is nothing special or unique about a clone." Thanks Alee..

Lioness

Eyes glazed

at the camera frame

igniting my imagination's flame,

in those weeny seconds

what thoughts

processed you?

I was seeking somehow to

become one with these...

only to realise I would be guessing,

If I had the gifts

to speak your language

I would approach and ask

can I give you a stroke?

savouring each minute

as though it was the only time ever.

Softly embracing you

as I listen to you speak of

mysteries,

and then whisper in your ear

Beautiful,

slumber is ours,

let's us continue

to dream today,

Though

I'd rather,

be here forever.

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 5/9/2010 ©

Photo provided by Adam Dustus, written for one shoot sunday photo prompt on http://oneshotpoetry.blogspot.com

I saw you Today Grey.

I saw you Today Grey.

I saw you today
focused and tired
walking on the bleak and grey tarmac
Blurry around nine-thirty.

I saw you today
my smile greeted you
with the warmth of the sun
you felt it, unknowingly.


I saw you today
In your navy tank top
over a white t-shirt and jeans,
holding a Brown tan leather breif-case,
oh, look at that!
You've cut your hair low,
other than that,
you looked the same.


Almost, a frozen picture frame.


I saw you today
as you walked
in your bubble of thoughts
which was 'un-pop-able':
were you stressed?
Are you even happy?

I saw you today
and reminisced
on how I saw you
as my big brother
bordering Fatherhood figure
Cloaked and protected
under your wings, your words and guidance...
Perhaps.

I saw you today
and could have
walked directly behind you
and morphed myself into your shadow
But
Instead I let you go.

Its a shame
that we were so close
and I was
simply unrecognisable.
Today was good
Because I saw you.
Perhaps.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho
26/8/2010 ©