This Head Aches

How did it come to this?
lies like irritating flies
buzzing around bull shit
taking the piss
as I enlist my signature
to post my feelings
like a letter
i only want better days
or
should i ignore
like those childish dreams
long time gone
faded away
like
forgotten bedtime prayer's
fade into reality like
the smoke of black coconut incense
i am not playing
looking for an ending
headaches descending
my eyesight merging,
thoughts
like theses
are blissfully
disturbing
me:
patiently waiting
like an oil painting
in the process
brush strokes
tickling
irritating
tormenting me
as i beg
stop please
making me look stupid
like a fool in love
struck down
by cupid
who is this?
dont know!
buzzing i hear
and they became my
companion
call me shit
yes, good shit
the same
you think is cool
and easy to fool
but i know
i mean, knew
throughout your sweet soothing
political talk-talk
you, with whom
my mind stalks
and as much as i try to help it
my brain channels curses
into the solar waves
tired of this repetition
I am not insane,
This happens everyday
talents wasted
violated
underpaid
but
I will NOT,
take this
with me to the
Grave!
Or the afterlife
to and from
before
my laws
will guide me
and keep my harmony intact
like the rays and light and heat
connected to the Sun.

[pauses and reflects]

Taking my head out of your ass
once again!

Period!

when will you stand for me?
believe in me?
am i a scape goat?
or better still
a black sheep
yes my wool
will keep you warm
same way
undeniably
no constantly
overlooked
Denied and
pushed to the side
strong i am indeed,
was an inherited quality
from before
I became a seed
so god damn
I must
Succeed!

I wonder
when
'High I'
will grant
the wings
of Achilles
to take me into
a place before time
called destiny,
hope she stands near
next to me
truly
and woo me
there,
where here and now,
I disappear.

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 31/12/2010 ©

Candy Poem (Inspirational response) by BrokenPenWriter

Candy Poem (Inspirational response) by BrokenPenWriter.

Lost paths sought
on the black
balding page
of blog
this stage
where words dance
your words
memory's trance
a chance
to catch the train
that, once missed
may never return
but might
some night
in the coal black
light of sweet London
where Candy kissed
your soul.

BrokenPenWriter

See more great poetry on http://brokenpenwriter.wordpress.com/

See the original Candy Poem BrokenPenWriter responded to:
http://donusho.blogspot.com/2010/11/candy.html

Personal note: I cant say how much it means to me to know that i have inspired someone - it feels more than great or greatness itself. Thank you very much BrokenPenWriter.

Candy

Young and foolish so we were
can you remember
as our eyes greeted with giggles
'Yo boy!?'
screeching in front of me
of your gigantic mountain bike frame
making you appear inferior
on the exterior, definitely an
emperor disguised.

Hazel eyes they were and varnished oak wood brown complexion,
holding shelves of books like competitiveness, complications, confusions,
compliments, discontentments, ambitions, amusements, intelligence... argumentative,
and i read them all eagerly,
repetitively and devoutly
as though you were my religion.

Disputes and bruised ego's
where did it go? I tried to follow
the crumbs it has left behind, leading to a wall of mist
which distracts the train of thoughts to a halt
on the last station, bear and empty.

Wish I didn't throw her number away
I regret missing you
Candy.
Save me from this crushing dismay
i hope to cross your path some day
would you even rememeber me
anyway?

Faithfully yours,
A Lost Friend.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 27/10/2010 ©

Invisible Life

Please
give me back my eyes? so
I can fly striaght like an arrow
towards my destiny
from the Archer, I...

Busy.

Lonely.

Silence.

Gripping.

Raw.

Truthful.

Exposed an explosion of thoughts and emotions, revealed
times like these, i will shield.
no
I will yield to the after-thoughts
than the present
ones
and unwrap the presence,
an energy so lethal
but without it
would be detrimental to our survival.

Life,
you are a beautiful
so unseemly you teach.
peeling each layers,
unwillingly at times
and none, can claim it as a breach of contract
or privacy.

... am falling without wings
allowing the wind of invisible unclaimed words
to draw me in at such speed unimaginable,

stop.

(I have) got this, this one, caught in the palm of my hand,
the Author.

Bulleye!

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho
29/09/2010 ©

Locked off (Dear Locks)

Locked off (Dear Locks…)

Proceeding with one two three,
Into darkness of uncertainties…

Dear Locks,

You will be dearly missed
Cutting you off was the last thing
I would ever do.
What you meant to me…
Where do I begin.

Since I was seven,
I wanted long hair
My Mother said no
To cornrows, funky dreads
And anything over an inch!
I used to flinch
At going to the barbers
Thinking they were
Cutting a life form away,
Apart of me alive

So
I celebrated my manhood and freedom
and grew my locks,
You reminded me
Of small little maggots to begin with,
Comb twist.

Months grew into years
And you were already shoulder length.
Thick brown and beautiful:
A symbol of strength, determination and
Perseverance.

This look I had was so unique,
apart of me,
I deemed it unimaginable to be parted away from you.
You were like my first and everlasting true love
Because you helped me identify, myself.
You were there through thick and thin.
Only to realise it was only for a season
Where uniqueness is truly and always,
Residing in the heart.

But it’s hard:
As I watched
The blades embraced
And cut you into two, apart.
I can hear you screaming,
Colour-blind as though I were
Watching a black and white film
Day dreaming a nightmare.

Then a humming bird
Whispered in my left ear
‘I am not my hair’, (India Aries)
Making my heart break the day like the sunshine.
So removing you would be like moving the clouds away
Yet I would still like it to rain.


Were we secret lovers having an affair in broad day light?
Tell me, we are not breaking away
Yet, its so evident that we have grown apart.
Proceeding with four, five, six, seven, eight
Its too late,
As you fall like duck feather on the floor.

Self reflection.
Of embracing the new,
Staring like a child unsure
Of what to do.
Dark brown nappy fluff
Candy floss
Exploring the lightness

A new look and freedom.
Cold sharp slick razor
Glides smoothly across
The Atlas of my head
Sheering away the wheats
To reveal dry ground.

A new look and freedom.
What an exploration,
The Liberation.
Of not being caged
Into an appearance
But a living soul,
A fresh wind beautifully packaged within.


Shaun Gordon aka Donusho
07/08/2010 ©

666

666

Brown and burgundy coated
My vision, as I say,
Can I speak to you
In a little more, detail
I dont mean to be rude,
I had some a little, more rum
Water down with coke
Taste so morish.
I am talking about
The 6th day
On the 6th month
Of the 2006 year.
Yeah
When the chain on my brain was broken
And I saw the light
Ironically
After church, prayer meeting,
That summer was the best
As I can hear my Grand-dad telling me
‘How I am so blessed’
Any way
It was evening,
Stamford hill
Yes
Do you know them side?
Wait.
Let me sip a little more
And let the sting
Wet the back of my throat
Dry and cold…
What was I saying again?
Oh
Chasing after disaster
Trying to cool the eruption
Of a volcanic beast
And lava and rocks
Came down
And beat me twice
On the same cheek.
Pulling on my hair
And emptied my bag on the floor
As the Jews
Watched with entertained eyes,
What held me back from taking your head off?
Don’t blame or praise the Angels, and God or gods
Unseen, read about and heard of.
Blame it on me
Not just the fact I didn’t react
Second thought,
I guess that what burned you most!
That I didn’t cast you down to hell
And gloat in my delight as I hear your yells fade.
Praise me on how I told the truth
And it was none of my business in the first place
Yet it was insisted upon…
Yes that right
You accused me
Only to see
That I was in the right
And you were terribly wrong
No need to admit it.
Carry on!
Did you really think I would have
Stay and married you?
And allow you to beat me up silly
To repeat History… and I shall repeat:
His-story!? No your story.
To be honest that was one of my worst fears my dear,
You know?
To become a repetition
Of your forefathers.
Smile I gently, as the lava stings
And hide the pain under my thick skin.
No,
This future is not for me,
Off comes the engagement ring
That was not meant to be
And let it melt in your own ashes and tears.
I didn’t need a sign
Just a kick start, for my mind to tick again
Was I, in a frozen primitive state?
An Ape
Brought back to life to enjoy the modern world
In all its glories and wonders, I wonder,
Oh and I heard all those same old stories
So good fuck, please don’t bore me.
I don’t claim to be perfect
But why
Do you think you are always right?
Hope some things change.

Guess it was god’s will then
To confound the wise on 06/06/2006!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


Excuse me mate,
Another double rum and coke please?
Actually make it two.
A celebration of Life
Without you.



Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 5/9/2010 ©

Different

Recalling one two one two
I remember in black and white photographs
collages in my mind's eyes
as it rolls in time like a film script
wishing i was strong and tough
like those bullies,
instead i was skinny with two left knees.
Oh...
thats the reason I got picked last
for the football team
in the playground?
My lips are too thick
I want them as yours, thin
as i have seen in every hollywood movie,
well,
back then and...
and, my hair stands as though they have legs of their own, afro
why?
cant they just flow with the wind as yours...
not to mention,
my two buck teeth earned me the nickname bugs bunny
or even better, Goofy.
I deem these my inherited flaws
because, I dont see no girlfriend holding my hand
looking into my brown eyes,
poppy love.
I think they preferred blue ones that matched the sunny skies.
no.
I wasnt cool
I am the boy who stay late
after art class has finished.
Loneliness,
teased tears to flow from my eyes
but I heard big boys dont cry.

Then something changed
and it was just like any other day,
as the long finger hit twelve on the clock
swimming though London's crowded current
catching a glimpse of admiring stares,
ignored.

Now
Being confided in
and appreciated
in more ways than one,
though I had unpopular opinions,
never really ceased to think this way.
un-noticeably
Confidence and Acceptance blossoms
creating inner peace
while I was trying make sense of these jigsaw pieces.
Dawning on me as from boy to man
I just, didnt see it back then...

Specially selected ingredients,
Carefully handcrafted
and metric measured
equals me,
Entitled: Different.

Thankfully.

Shaun Gordon aka Donusho 7/9/2010 ©

Image as seen on: http://www.aleesperspective.com, (05/09/2010) and inspirational prompt:"Embrace being different. There is nothing special or unique about a clone." Thanks Alee..